>Be 17
>Blind date
>She's about a 7/10. Pleasant surprise.
>Go to dinner
>She orders three serves of garlic bread. Lolwut.jpg
>Over the night, she keeps rubbing my legs with hers. gradually getting more frequent.
>Starts telling me about her down bedspread.
>"It's the most comfortable thing ever. You should try it"
>She's DTF.
>She's smashing down the food as fast as possible.
>Like, not even chewing. She's that desperate to get home.
>We get back to her place. Things get hot'n'heavy as far as the hands go, but she won't kiss me.
>Every time I try to make out, she just gives me a little peck.
>Then it hits me...
>Eating bread... Down bedspread... Not chewing... Pecking...
>I'm about to have sex with a duck.
>I tell her I have to go to the toilet.
>Jump out of the window.
>Lock her pen so she can't get out
>Fucking run.
>Open the door
>Get on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur
