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<blockquote data-quote="Aggravate" data-source="post: 32020" data-attributes="member: 5"><p>Well as a child I took up a career in pony physics at the age of 3, and graduated at the age of 5. After disproving the physics behind standing on a floating cloud of water, I was shunned by the pony population, and by my beloved "insert name starting with heart ending with something cute here" the one pony I actually loved. After this I began drinking heavily, imagining what life would have been like if I hadn't gone into pony physics and ended up ruining 90% of the shows plot.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> I came to the conclusion that I had to reverse this, and promptly gathered the top pony cientists (everyone knows it's spelled with a c) and built a time machine made out of rainbows and everything nice (Because after some long research we figured out that chemical X is actually concentrated nitric acid mixed with hydrofluoric acid, tests showed that 100% of ponies who were exposed to more than 100 mL of chemical X died almost instantly.) however we quickly found a substitute for Chemical X (Gypsy tears) and after some trial and error managed to get the time machine functioning properly.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Our initial trials with ponies did not go well, SourApple (our first test subject) ended up without any limbs, as they were transported into the 5th dimension. RainbowDash ended up going back in time in a place with no ground and ended up falling, however with the lack of physics defying ponies and black matter butterflies around to save her, she fell to the ground feet first. When we reversed the time machine we found that she was still alive and the bones from her feet were protruding from her back, we attempted to kill her to put her out of her misery by giving an autistic kid a gun, however he ended up shooting her seven times in the back, it took her an hour and a half to bleed out (as you know ponies do not black out.), which we spent playing poker (I managed to win 20 bucks wewt!).</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>After at least 52 casualties we had finally perfected the time machine and we're ready to return to the moment I enrolled in IPP (The Institute of Pony Physics). I entered the time machine and returned to that moment, where I convinced myself I was actually me. After spending some time with my 3 year old self, I decided to go back to my own time, however I remembered that I did not figure any way to reverse the time machine after an extended stay and thus was stuck in the past.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Fearing that I would never return to see the new glorious future (since I had not gone into pony physics I would no meet the cientists who helped me build the time machine.) I desperately plead to myself to enroll in IPP but not disprove the physics of standing on a floating cloud of water, after I argued with myself about how it was possible I ended up proving it was impossible, and thus reversing everything I had done, the world was now the same as when I disproved it in the first place.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I finally came to the conclusion that it was futile to attempt to stop the inevitable, and so accepted my roll as "Pony Hitler, destroyer of dreams". I amassed a fortune by winning every single lottery for a few years and created my own country which I named The UNAP (The United Nations Against Ponies) and I urged every pony hating country to join me in my Jihad against the ponies who had reviled me my entire life.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>And that is the story of my life so far.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>TL;DR : My Imagination is awesome and you should read the fucking story.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Aggravate, post: 32020, member: 5"] Well as a child I took up a career in pony physics at the age of 3, and graduated at the age of 5. After disproving the physics behind standing on a floating cloud of water, I was shunned by the pony population, and by my beloved "insert name starting with heart ending with something cute here" the one pony I actually loved. After this I began drinking heavily, imagining what life would have been like if I hadn't gone into pony physics and ended up ruining 90% of the shows plot. I came to the conclusion that I had to reverse this, and promptly gathered the top pony cientists (everyone knows it's spelled with a c) and built a time machine made out of rainbows and everything nice (Because after some long research we figured out that chemical X is actually concentrated nitric acid mixed with hydrofluoric acid, tests showed that 100% of ponies who were exposed to more than 100 mL of chemical X died almost instantly.) however we quickly found a substitute for Chemical X (Gypsy tears) and after some trial and error managed to get the time machine functioning properly. Our initial trials with ponies did not go well, SourApple (our first test subject) ended up without any limbs, as they were transported into the 5th dimension. RainbowDash ended up going back in time in a place with no ground and ended up falling, however with the lack of physics defying ponies and black matter butterflies around to save her, she fell to the ground feet first. When we reversed the time machine we found that she was still alive and the bones from her feet were protruding from her back, we attempted to kill her to put her out of her misery by giving an autistic kid a gun, however he ended up shooting her seven times in the back, it took her an hour and a half to bleed out (as you know ponies do not black out.), which we spent playing poker (I managed to win 20 bucks wewt!). After at least 52 casualties we had finally perfected the time machine and we're ready to return to the moment I enrolled in IPP (The Institute of Pony Physics). I entered the time machine and returned to that moment, where I convinced myself I was actually me. After spending some time with my 3 year old self, I decided to go back to my own time, however I remembered that I did not figure any way to reverse the time machine after an extended stay and thus was stuck in the past. Fearing that I would never return to see the new glorious future (since I had not gone into pony physics I would no meet the cientists who helped me build the time machine.) I desperately plead to myself to enroll in IPP but not disprove the physics of standing on a floating cloud of water, after I argued with myself about how it was possible I ended up proving it was impossible, and thus reversing everything I had done, the world was now the same as when I disproved it in the first place. I finally came to the conclusion that it was futile to attempt to stop the inevitable, and so accepted my roll as "Pony Hitler, destroyer of dreams". I amassed a fortune by winning every single lottery for a few years and created my own country which I named The UNAP (The United Nations Against Ponies) and I urged every pony hating country to join me in my Jihad against the ponies who had reviled me my entire life. And that is the story of my life so far. TL;DR : My Imagination is awesome and you should read the fucking story. [/QUOTE]
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